When asked what their biggest struggles are when it comes to running a business, ‘self-confidence’ is something a lot of entrepreneurs want to work on. Whether that’s the confidence to stand up at a networking event, or to go live on their Facebook page, to say ‘no’ when something or someone isn’t right to work with, the confidence to share their story, to ask for the sale or having the confidence to just go for it… even when failure is a possibility!
We want to do all of these things so badly, and know we need them too, so we look for the magic ingredient that will boost our self-confidence and make all of the things listed above, and everything else, easy peasy. ‘Gaining more confidence’ as the missing piece of our entrepreneurial puzzle which will make us feel the way all those other women who have ‘made-it’ must feel in their professional photos and successful launches.
If only it was that simple. If only you could find (or even buy) this magic ingredient to sprinkle over your life to create this illusive confidence you so desperately desire.
I pride myself on telling it as it is, I’m not here to bs you with promises I can’t keep or which are simply untrue. So, when I say that this magical ingredient doesn’t exist (sorry!) it isn’t to dampen your spirits or to do myself out of business… it’s to show you how success really works and how you can achieve it (no magic pills/beans/wands needed).
But, as I always do, I really want you to understand what’s going on first – rather than just giving you the fix. When you understand a problem, that’s when you can work your magic with the solution.
“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” ― Albert Einstein
Self-confidence is a state of mind, an attitude towards your skills and abilities.
When you are self-confident you trust in yourself – what you are saying, the impact you have – you utilise and showcase your strengths and you are in control of yourself – your actions and reactions. Self-confident people think positively about themselves, they don’t concern themselves with others. They speak assertively, set realistic goals, and embrace feedback.
On the other hand, people who have lower self-confidence feel engulfed in self-doubt and criticism. They may struggle to trust others and play up their weaknesses. These people spend a lot of time comparing themselves to others, feel uncomfortable with competition and take rejection or critical feedback very personally. They are likely to avoid opportunities for growth through fear of rejection and/or failure and may struggle to say ‘no’ and set appropriate boundaries.
Does that sound like you? That’s okay.
Everyone has felt like that at some point, and most likely still feels like this at times too.
You may find that your self-confidence is lacking in certain situations: sales calls, networking, launches, visibility – PR/ Marketing, making decisions, money conversations – including handling refund requests, customer service…the list goes on. My point being that how confident you feel about yourself may very much depend on the situation.
And that feeling will very much depend on your perceived safety of the situation. Note the key word here – perceived. Your unconscious mind works very hard to keep you safe and has learned through different experiences you have been through what is safe and what isn’t. Sometimes, if an experience is new, your unconscious mind will draw parallels (that may make no conscious sense) and choose a reaction based on what it *thinks* is safest for you in that moment. If, for example, you grew up in an unsupportive environment, was bullied as a child, or had experiences where you felt humiliated or excluded it is understandable (even if unhelpful) that the unconscious mind would want to protect you from similar harm.
But as this is all down to the perception of your unconscious mind, the wonderful news is you can train it to think differently. In a way that allows you to genuinely feel more confident in your abilities. Abilities, that were unlikely ever at fault.
And now onto the how. How do you train your mind to think differently? Here are 8 of my self-confidence boosting tips to switch your thinking around and begin to do all the things you would love to do. They may all appeal or only one or two. You may even find none of these appeal. All of these responses are fine, there’s no one-size-fits all when it comes to mindset work. You can always get in touch with me to explore further options:
Write a list of all of your strengths and take the time to congratulate yourself for what you have achieved. If your initial response is that you have none or very few, that’s ok. Start with what you have, work through the steps, and revisit each one until you begin to fully see your strengths.
Practice self-compassion when met with an obstacle. Remember there is no such thing as failure, only feedback… and this is always an opportunity to grow.
Release perfection, it doesn’t exist. All you can do is your best with the resources you have available to you in any given moment – in The Bubble, my monthly membership, there’s a hypnotic meditation available on this exact topic.
Stop comparing yourself to other entrepreneurs, whether they’re in your field or not. If you’re finding seeing their stuff on social media a negative experience (rather than inspiring) then unfollow, unfriend, move away. Comparisonitis never served anyone, and you will be so much better off without it.
Challenge the critical thoughts you’re telling yourself. Ask yourself, ‘what evidence contradicts this thought?’ and choose to believe that powerful, helpful thought instead – your mind, your thoughts… you are in control!
Acknowledge that negative experiences in your past do not dictate your experiences in the future. You can choose to forgive and release the past. I am passionate about the power of TimeLine Therapy for this which you can read more about here.
Practice expressing your feelings, needs and beliefs clearly and with respect for yourself and others, saying ‘no’ when appropriate. Again, there is a hypnotic recording in The Bubble on this topic.
Look in the mirror and practice affirmations – I am confident, I am confident, I am confident – feel it, own it and notice your tone of voice and body language transform before you – you are creating a new belief in these moments, new neurotransmitters that will turn this belief into your reality.
There you have it… my 8 steps to creating the self-confidence you would love to have to show up in your business as you want to. But remember, this isn’t an overnight process. As easy as ‘8 steps’ sounds, they take time! Giving each one the time and focus it needs to become a new way of thinking. It’s why I offer 3 month packages a s a minimum with my clients… giving them the time and space to create long lasting change.
Supporting women to create the mindset shifts needed to smash through their limiting beliefs so they can harness and enhance their inner confidence is what I’m passionate about. And I would love to help you harness and enhance yours! Why not book a free, no obligation chat, to talk through how you can boost your confidence in any and all areas of your business and turn your dreams into your reality?